Regret is a four letter word dressed up as a 6 letter word for a non-stop bad Halloween party. Remember that party, where that guy kept following you around? And you did everything to not talk to him, but there he was. Yeah, that one.
I’m here to tell you that regrets are not necessities. We think they’re natural: “Regrets, I’ve had a few…” Even Sinatra knew not to worry too much over them. But why do we think having the bad thing’s tentacles burrowed into our heart/soul is natural? Our mistakes help make us who we are, they are a part of us–but they are not us.
I think we can learn to stand beside them, even notice them, hello messy divorce…you are in the past, there is nothing I can do about you now. I did the best I could at the time and now I know to listen to my instincts.
Regret wallows.
Regret doesn’t move on or decide to change.
Regret is quicksand.
Regret is blaming yourself.
Regret is all about yourself.
Regret is selfish.
Regret folds you in on yourself.
Regret implodes.
If regret is a verb, it’s a backward one–living in the past.
What is the opposite of regret? Unregretful? That seems callous. Contentedness? Kinda boring. I think we look for the antidote, not the opposite!
The antidote for me is forgiveness.
Usually forgiving myself, but can also involve others.
And mindfulness.
And forward thinking–what am I working toward?
I’ve promised myself to try to make my actions unregrettable (it is too a word!), mindfulness helps, immediate forgiveness helps, accepting responsibility also good. What would you add?
Amy Kennedy The Creative Crone 
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